


The One with the Cracked Ex-Boyfriend

by FaZe_Yangers



Category: Fortnite - Fandom, Marvel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-29 22:50:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20443868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaZe_Yangers/pseuds/FaZe_Yangers





	The One with the Cracked Ex-Boyfriend

I walked up the stairs, taking a sip of my protein shake. As I walked around the corner, I spit it out and choked twice.  
“Oh shit,” I muttered. It was my ex, Matthew.   
“Kitty! Didn’t expect to see you here!”   
“Aaaaand… he’s back to stalking,” I said.   
“Date me,” he declared. “I want to be ‘us’ again.”  
“Don’t want to break your heart, just give your heart a break,” I said.   
“Please. Admit it. You miss me.”   
“Hold on, what?”   
“To rule the world. Together.”  
“You're even more insane than before,”  
“I am the key to understanding the words of creation,” he declared.  
“Okay, I have a yoga class, so yeahokaybye,” I said. A.W.K.W.A.R.D.  
“At this point, if I were you, I would kneel,” he said.  
I ignored him and yeeted up the stairs, two at a time, to get away from that C.R.E.E.P.E.R. (aw man). As I neared the last step, a sharp stabbing pain coursed through my left leg. A steady warmth ran down and pooled in my shoes. Deep scarlet dripped and contrasted sharply with the bright quartz. An excruciating pain brought me down on one knee. I closed my eyes and twisted around back to face him. I double tapped my watch and hexagonal tiles of nanoparticles clanked over my hand. Dad’s classic watch repulsor. I forced myself into a fighting position.   
“I knew something changed after your killing spree,” I said. He simply smirked a jabbed a syringe into his forearm and pressed on the plunger.   
“Everybody’s such a copycat. Nobody can replicate the OG super strength serum,” I called. “Friday, give me a suit.”  
My claws slid out slowly. My parasympathetic nervous system (I think that’s right) rocketed into fight or flight mode and my senses dulled for a minute before becoming much sharper.   
He screamed, “OPPUGNATE with a long mark over the A!”  
He swung over my head, exactly as I had anticipated because barbarians aren’t smart.   
I slid under and raised my hand, repulsor powering up.  
I glanced over the balcony. Of course, there were those who stayed behind, arms outstretched, phones in hand, broadcasting to their inopia (lack of?) followers.   
“Incoming, boss,” Friday chirped.   
I saw his mood shift as he looked at the people. He creepily licked his lips as he looked at the people.  
“Go! Run!” I said, but the people go to to get vlog content…  
He tossed a small disc from his palm and it beeped slowly, getting more excited as it neared the crowd of onlookers. Such a Lynx thing to do to leap towards a bomb. It looks too badass not to do, though. Midair, the suit wrapped itself around me (that’s a weird way to describe it) and my fingers closed around the grenade. I tossed it back over the balcony as a concussive blast rippled through the building. The ceiling creaked as cracks appeared and lights powered down. Finally, the crowd dispersed. I flew up and faced my ex.   
“Let’s just be friends,” I cliced (clishe? Cliche? a;soihgaow’iealsdkhgaoehfadsfgha’jdsf;l)   
Let’s just be friends. Friends. *clap*clap*clap*clap* #it’s four claps  
He picked up the counter and swung toward me. The counter. The counter?! How do I dodge that? I flew and flipped into the cafe, crashing into the floor as the ceiling collapsed.   
“A diagram of places that were bruised has been added to the HUD,” Friday chirped cheerfully. The ceiling creaked one last time and collapsed in a pile of rubble.   
“Ugggggggggggggggghhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh” I groaned, which is the “three essays and a test due tomorrow” noise.   
The suit creaked as I pushed the rubble off me.   
“Request for auxiliary troops,” I said.   
“Multiple systems offline. Reboot?” Friday said.   
“Oh, no no no no no. Cancel,” I said.  
“That gives me flashbacks to prom,” he said and he was on top of me. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) No, not that kind of on top of me. Fist after fist landed on my helmet. Electricity crackled and Friday powered off. As per usual, my nose started bleeding. My vision swirled in and out. Nanoparticles arranged themselves in slow motion and I forced him off me. My claws left 4 marks that turned red immediately. I raised both hands and repulsors and went to town. I held on for a bit. He retaliated with a flamethrower and sprayed the surroundings with a conflagration. So I guess you could say fire is my weakness. My limbs felt slow and sluggish as my brain went sicko mode and yeeted thoughts faster than I could respond. I blinked quickly as my breathing quickened. Breathe, I thought. Deep breaths. I slid against the wall. I looked down. My repulsors powered down. He stomped toward me. He grabbed a sign advertising $1 peet’s coffee and broke the end off. He grabbed my shoulder and jammed it in my abdomen. I gasped and looked at him. It made a clang as it punctured the armor and then a squishing sound as his twisted it around my insides. I gasped for air. A steady warmth flowed down. Another pain of a thousand mustaches coursed through me as the sign punctured the other side. The sound of ripping flesh was all too familiar. In one fluid motion, he yanked it back out. Deep scarlet splattered all over. Clutching my intestines, I fell to my knees. He raised a hand, dipped it in a pool of my blood, and danced it across my cheek. Only slightly creepy. Finally, the Lambo screeched to a stop outside and out ran ghost and singularity. S was wearing the pink and gold suit. Adlgfkaluew. S raised an ICER rifle and took a quick shot at him. The shot hit, and he toppled over in slow motion. She tossed the gun into the rubble and ran to me. Ghost materialized beside me. “Oh...gods,” she mumbled. “I have to do it.”   
“No… you should have worn the green one,” I groaned.  
“The spell. The healing/teleportation spell,” she said.   
“That’s risky,” ghost said. “You have to get this right.”  
The last thing I saw: red flames, licking my body. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) The last thing I felt: sticky warmth on my hands, gurgling onto the ground. The last thing I tasted: metallic scarlet rising in my mouth, dribbling onto my chin.


End file.
